


From Sam To Pina With Love

by tj_teejay



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tj_teejay/pseuds/tj_teejay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’d think Matt doesn’t much like his screen reader voices because they’re stuttery and flawed and emotionless, right? But he’s grown to appreciate each and every one of them, simply because to him they’re more than a computer-generated voice. </p><p>a.k.a. 5 Times Matt Appreciates His Screen Reader Voices</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Sam To Pina With Love

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came about when I was following a conversation in the Daredevil kinkmeme discussion post (that somehow I can’t find anymore). Someone mentioned that they always get a little irritated when people write Matt finding his screen reader voices annoying. They’re a part of his life, and have been for years. If anything, he should have a certain appreciation for them. And, yeah, I couldn’t disagree, so here we are.
> 
> I need to admit that I’m not vision impaired and don’t have a lot of experience with screen readers. While I have done some googling on the topic (why is it so hard to find sound samples of TTS voices?), there’s probably going to be a fair bit of inaccuracy in this. Quite frankly, I wish I had someone whose brain I could pick so I could make it as realistic as possible. Now, sure, I could also just have sucked up my ignorance at the topic and not written this fic, but I just liked the idea of exploring the topic too much.
> 
> Thanks go out to [Ash](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MomentumDeferred/pseuds/MomentumDeferred) for the beta!

##  **1) Microsoft Sam**

To Matt, Sam is kind of an old friend. Yes, he sounds tinny and electronic and nothing like a normal human voice, but he’s been a constant companion. For years.

Matt loved having Sam in his life. He came with Matt’s first laptop, a clunky, heavy thing, and Matt had quickly grown to like having Sam around. Even if his choppy voice took some getting used to, it was such a big help to have someone read things to him at will without another guilt-trip attached. Matt hated asking for help, and Sam was always there when he needed him.

And then the whole roflcopter thing exploded on the internet, and Matt hated it. So what if Sam couldn’t properly pronounce the word ‘soi’? There was no need to make fun of that. Matt definitely had a soft spot for Sam and bit back a few angrily phrased responses on one of the internet forums he liked to frequent.

One time, during their college days, Foggy had actually brought it up.

“Hey Matt, have you heard the roflcopter song?”

“Yeah,” Matt grumbled.

“It’s hilarious, right?”

Matt stayed silent. He didn’t like picking fights with Foggy. Cause Foggy was eager to learn more about what it meant to navigate a world of eyesight-capable individuals when you couldn’t actually see. It made him one of the good guys.

He must have picked up on Matt’s sour expression, because he added, “Dude, did I say something wrong?”

Matt sighed. “No, just… I like Sam, okay?”

“Wait. You’re actually defending a computer generated voice?”

“No, I… Yes. I guess I am.”

Foggy let out a short chuckle. “Okay, yeah, I can sort of see it. You and Sam go way back, right?”

“We do.” Foggy didn’t know the half of it.

“You and Mary not get along?”

Matt’s face broke into an actual smile. Cause that question alone told Matt that Foggy had looked into text-to-speech engines enough to know what the voices were named. Not a lot of people he knew could say that about themselves.

“Why are you smiling?” Foggy asked him.

“Cause that’s kind of a nerdy question to ask.”

Foggy seemed to bristle just slightly, but that was just an educated guess on Matt’s part—even with the heightened senses. “It’s an _informed_ question to ask. I know how to do my research, man.”

“So you like Mary better than Sam?”

“Hey, come on, she’s female. That’s reason enough for her to score extra points.”

“Isn’t that kind of a sexist thing to say?”

“What—it’s not like I’m hurting their feelings, or anything.”

Matt smirked a little. “Mary and I, we had a brief fling. It didn’t last long. I prefer Sam. He’s like an old friend. It’s hard to explain.”

“No, I get it.”

And that was that.

 

##  **2) Microsoft Mary**

Matt’s brief fling with Mary wasn’t entirely voluntary, and started when Matt’s Windows XP was circling the drain. Things would stop working, drivers were refusing to cooperate, and then the whole thing would freeze up at random intervals.

The worst part was, Sam stopped working. Probably some corrupted audio files or something. So Matt reluctantly switched to Mary until he found someone to fix his screwed up system.

He didn’t like Mary. _Really_ didn’t like her. She always had that subtly accusing undertone. Like she was annoyed that anyone had the audacity to ask for her service. Sam would never do that. He was always cheerful and positive, happy to help. Mary was a grouch.

Well, maybe it was all in his head, and it was a little silly, but he felt like he was betraying Sam. With Mary. He wanted Sam back.

So when he got back from that little store on the corner with the resident computer geeks (and he meant that in the most appreciative way), with his Windows XP blissfully restored, he switched it on and grinned stupidly at the screen when it was Sam’s voice that greeted him first thing.

“Welcome back,” Matt actually said out loud.

Sam didn’t reply, of course, but just for a fleeting second, Matt thought maybe Sam was glad he had been brought back from the dead.

 

##  **3) Microsoft Anna**

Windows Vista was a terror. Matt was sure of it because it crashed every so often, and he wished he’d never have had to replace his laptop. But the old one had given out right around their winter exams, and there was no way he could finish university without one.

With Vista also came Anna. Sam had been sent into retirement, so now there was Anna. She was a lot perkier than Mary, he had to give her that. She also sounded a lot less computery. Yeah, he figured he could get used to Anna.

It was just… Anna was always so damn matter-of-fact. Which was just fine for law texts or research, but sometimes he would have her read blog posts or personal messages to him, and it just… It didn’t really work well.

One time, they were sitting in their dorm room, Matt with one earbud in, and he drew a face. Which Foggy noticed.

“You’re making that face again.”

“What face?”

“I don’t know what face, but you sometimes make it when you listen to that computer of yours. Is it the voice? Who is it now? Mike?”

“No, Mike’s been decommissioned for a while now.”

“And now it’s…?”

“Anna.”

“Oh, we’ve decided upon someone female after all, huh?”

“Yeah, she came with the this thing, and I guess I never really bothered to find something else. She works okay. For the most part.”

“But just now, she didn’t?”

“No, she…” He sighed. This was veering into ridiculous conversation territory. “You know, they try to make these voices sound more natural, but sometimes they just… don’t get it right. I mean, I wouldn’t want to live without them, but sometimes…” He let out a long breath, then said, “Why am I even explaining this to you?”

“Hey, I get it. You have an attachment to these guys.”

He winced. “Is that weird? It sounds like some kind of strange fetish.”

Foggy huffed dismissively. “Hey, come on. It’s me you’re talking to. Compared to my humble self, you’re like the most normal person on campus. As far as I’m concerned, you can get scrunch up your face at Anna’s screwy pronunciation any time you like.”

“She’s not screwy. Just… off sometimes.”

“How about I google you a few alternatives? I’m sure there’s other voices you could install.”

“No,” Matt quickly said. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Foggy smiled. “Aha! You like Anna. Despite her flaws.”

He wouldn’t want to admit it, but yeah, he did.

 

##  **4) Microsoft Zira**

Matt’s newest laptop had Windows 8. Which he actually quite liked, because it was a lot more intuitive to use for a person without light perception. And it had Zira. She almost sounded like a real person. And her voice was pleasant, maybe even a little sexy. He liked Zira.

He wasn’t quite sure why Windows kept making all their default voices female, but over the last few years, he’d gotten used to it. He still considered Sam his first screenreader buddy, but Zira was good. Trusty. She knew how to pronounce words correctly, and even raise her voice at the end when there was a question mark.

One day in the office, Matt found Foggy at his desk, typing on his computer.

“What are you doing, Foggy?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. My internet keeps wigging out, and there was something I needed to look up.”

“So you decided to use my computer without even asking?”

“You were, uh, indisposed, and it’s not like you have any porn on there, right?”

Matt’s mouth drew into a slight smile. “No, Foggy, I don’t have any porn on there.”

“Yeah, see? We already share this shithole of a law office, all the debt, and a secretary. What’s one more computer? Though your thing is weird. It keeps talking to me real fast. It’s kind of annoying.”

“To you, maybe.”

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean… uh… I know you like your voices and everything. This one’s actually quite good, though. Who is she again? Anna?”

“Zira.”

“Man, all your voice mistresses confuse me. Mary, Molly, Mindy, Anna, Zira. How do you keep track?”

“I listen to them every day. Least I can do is know their name.”

“Well, Zira definitely has my approval. Can she do ‘soi’?”

Matt chuckled. “Yes, she can do ‘soi’.”

“Come on, that roflcopter song was funny. I should listen to it again. Introduce Karen.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

Foggy grumbled. “You’re no fun.”

“Not when Sam is involved, no.”

 

##  **5) Android Pina**

When it came to the wonders of modern technology, Matt had a love/hate relationship with his smartphone. He loved it for all it could do, but sometimes he wished he could have something with actual keys.

Voice recognition was good, but not always reliable. He’d gotten texts back from Foggy that were asking what he was trying to say. And then he’d go back to his message dictated in haste, and it would come back with things like, ‘Hold back on receiver, have the moth worked out.’

Of course it came with text-to-speech, which was great. Another female voice. And compared to Zira, it sounded like two steps back in voice synthesis evolution. She was too robot-like, and what was worse, she didn’t have a name. His Android system unceremoniously called her _Google Text-to-speech engine_.

And yet, she became a part of his life. Every so often he’d hear her intone, “Foggy, Foggy, Foggy,” or, “Karen, Karen, Karen.” She’d read out his menus, icons, text messages, WhatsApps.

Foggy had once asked to borrow his phone for a quick call to Marci when his phone’s battery had died. He’d fumbled with the accessibility features for minutes before he finally threw it back into Matt’s hand with a sigh.

“I can’t figure out how to operate your damn phone. It keeps reading out things when I tap them.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point when you can’t see what you’re tapping.”

“I just wanna swipe the screen, but it keeps reading out all the damn apps at a superhuman speed.”

“You have to use two fingers. Or a double-tap.”

“Just get it to call Marci.”

“Do you have her number?”

“What, you don’t have it?”

“No, Foggy, why would I have Marci’s number in my phone?”

“I… don’t know. Damn. Guess I’m not calling Marci.”

“Guess you’re not calling Marci,” Matt confirmed.

“That voice, though. You like it?”

Matt hummed. “Yeah, I like it enough.”

“She have a name?”

“I wish I knew. Not according to the phone settings.”

“That’s sacrilege. How can you develop a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a name?”

“You make it sound like she’s an actual person.”

“Well, she is. Somewhere. That voice has to come from someone. Do you ever imagine what she looks like? I mean, what she… what she’s actually like? As a person?”

“Quite honestly? No. Cause that’s kinda freaky.”

“Hey, freaky is my middle name.”

“And you like beautiful women.”

“That, Murdock, I do. Shame they always seem to be drawn to your handsome, wounded duckness.”

“Duckness. Is that even a word?”

“It is now. It’s _your_ word. Your Royal Duckness.”

Matt laughed out loud and Foggy gave him one of his signature grins, then said, “I’ll try to find out later what your mystery phone lady is called. And if I don’t find anything, we can christen her with a name of your choice, how about that?”

Two days later, they named her Pina, and made sure to celebrate it with an appropriate amount of alcohol and a decent-sized hangover the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to listen to what the different voices sound like, here are sound samples.
> 
> \- [Microsoft Sam](http://vocaroo.com/i/s1CugVs1A0SH)  
> \- [Microsoft Mary](http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Mkn83AoQYp)  
> \- [Microsoft Anna](http://vocaroo.com/i/s01XoP5OjwNx)  
> \- [Microsoft Zira](http://vocaroo.com/i/s0lZy5DnvGGp)
> 
> I couldn't find one of the Android voice, but we hear it on the show a few times, so go with that if you need an auditory cue.
> 
> Also, yes, the roflcopter song actually exists. You can find it on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9HI3t7npGU). Soi soi soi.


End file.
